​SCP-249899285012385081583 5/9
SCP-249899285012385081583 5/9
Object Class: Mega Danger Supreme Sandwich +
SCP-249899385012385081583 5/9 is an incredibly creepy and terrifying Funko Pop vinyl of a fish named Dory, a characted from the critically acclaimed Pixar movie Finding Nemo. The problem is, however, that the Pop vinyl looks creepy as Hell itself. It is a blue cubeoid with a weird dark blue pattern thing on it made from plastic with things that sort of represent fins with black and yellow patterns plastered on to the side. And the only facial features? Two empty, soulless circles meant to represent eyes.
But if this was the only feature of SCP-249899283012385081583 5/9, it would not be an SCP in the first place. There are many things off about the Dory Pop vinyl. Firstly, there have been reports of it creepily staring at you while you sleep if you place it in your bedroom facing your bed. This proves that SCP-249899285012385081583 5/9 sees you when your sleeping, knows when your awake, and even perhaps knows if you’ve been bad or good, thus forcing those within proximity to it to abandon their evil nature if they wish to gain Easter presents, therefore making it one of the most dangerous SCPs that exist anywhere ever.
There are more horrors that have been reported by those stuck with a copy of SCP-249899285012385081583 5/9. Simply looking at the featureless face and jet black circular eyes of the vinyl is said to remind those who look at it of the fucking terrible creepypasta Max and Ruby 0004, therefore making the viewer cringe so hard that their face suffers from intense agony upon remembering that such a terrible story exists. Even worse, it occasionally reminds people that the story SCP-249899285012385081583 5/9 exists, making them cringe even harder. Worse still, those who look at SCP-249899285012385081583 5/9 for too long may find that their soul is literally being torn from their body in an incredibly painful manner, and, depending on the Pop vinyls mood, will either be sent directly to the oft-forgotten 10th circle of Hell, or simply be consumed instead.
It is for these reasons and approximately 665 others that SCP-249899285012385081583 5/9 has earned the Mega Danger Supreme Sandwich + object class, the only SCP that exists to have that rank. As such, any Pop vinyl of its kind that can be found is currently kept in a diamond-reinforced titanium vault inside the stomach of a giant alien dragon thing that lives under the oceans of the moon of Saturn known as Titan. So please, if you see a copy of SCP-249899285012385081583 5/9 anywhere, give it to the totally legitimate SCP foundation so we can dispose of it/guard it properly.